don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
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Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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