TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
