a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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