I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
