i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
