Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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