1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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