umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
