I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
You are a genius and a whore.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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