Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
