You smell like stripper and shame
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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