Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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