yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
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I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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