Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
