"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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