I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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