I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Randomize
