i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
