he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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