the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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