Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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