Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
