oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
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I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
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I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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