9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize