Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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