I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I deserve this hangover.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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