And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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