i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize