By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
