I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Randomize