i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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