i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
