ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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