Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
