Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Randomize
