I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
