I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
