you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
