i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
