So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
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