How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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