so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
