Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
