Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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