Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
