I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
