he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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