Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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