omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Randomize