is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Randomize
