I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
