The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I wish my penis had an off switch
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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