U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Randomize
