Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
you had me at cake vodka
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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