thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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